Chloe worked on her recount and made some great editing choices after working on it - see photograph, then her second draft.
First draft
Yesterday the year sixes walked down to the milligan nursery, Mr Milligan gave us a tour and we saw and learnt heap about different plants and about their life cycle we picked the worst weather to walk down there.
When we arrived there we saw Mr Milligan weeding some of his plants he walked over to us and took us inside we saw what they done in the greenhouse.
Second draft
Yesterday the Year Sixes walked
down to the Milligans nursery. Mr
Milligan gave us a tour and we
saw and learnt a lot about different
plants and their life cycle.
Unfortunately we picked the worst
weather to walk down there.
When we arrived at the milligan nursery
Mr Milligan was outside checking his
plants.We walked over near the greenhouse and he took us inside, we asked a couple of questions that interested us and we got to see one of the staff pulling out little plants and planting them again he used a little flat head screwdriver and pushed the plant in between his finger and the screwdriver to protect the roots.
